I know I said I had every intention of keeping a regular blog schedule when I went back to work, but so far that hasn’t worked very well, has it?
I’m finding it really difficult to balance my time. There is so much to do at work that I’ve been skipping my lunch hour and staying at least an hour late…every.single.day. It’s hard to say that I mind, because it makes for a nice fat paycheck, but I’ve been struggling on an emotional level about the creative time I’ve lost. By the time I make it home I’ve used most of my brainpower and don’t have any left for the creative process. I thought for a few weeks that my creativity had just dried up, but I actually realized that it’s just hibernating. Or something….
I kind of think I was just overwhelmed. I was putting pressure on myself to continue creating and blogging, and collecting everything and anything that I thought would stimulate that mindset. Combined with working 45+ hours each week, I think I just freaked myself out and made my brain just shut down in protest. I finally had it last weekend and almost went over the edge cleaning out my workspace and getting rid of stuff. My sweet husband found me out in the garage dragging projects out to the curb and gave me a pep talk. He has a wonderful way of readjusting my perspective and pointing out insights about myself that I know in my heart but can’t put into words just yet. I ended up bringing most of the stuff back inside, except for the nightstand I showed pictures of. I was having a difficult time with it to begin with, and I wasn’t happy how it had turned out. It was a piece of junk, didn’t have good bones, and wasn’t in good condition to start. I realized that I had brought it home for the wrong reasons (an impulse buy without careful inspection) so I let it go…I’m feeling a lot better now and am trying to focus myself better and be more intentional about how I spend my free time (doing something creative instead of sitting on the computer looking at other creative people’s stuff, etc)
In other news, our wonderful babysitter and her family are moving to Oklahoma. Her husband will be starting a great new job, and they’ll be closer to their families. It’s a fantastic opportunity for them, but the hubs and I have been in a scramble to make some other childcare arrangements for The Boy. We’ve enrolled him in preschool starting in August, and we feel really good about the school he’ll be in. All the same, it will be a big adjustment for all of us. We have every intention of keeping in close contact with them, but it won’t quite be the same – I guess that’s just part of life, so I’m hoping it’s an easy transition for everyone.
Aside from all that, life has been pretty normal. It felt really good to do something crafty for our little 4th of July get-together, and I feel like my creative juices are flowing again. I think as long as I keep the momentum going, I’ll be OK. I have a few ideas in the works now & I’ll show them here as they’re completed.
Have a great day, y’all!
-Em
I'm glad your husband had you bring those projects back in, Emily. I almost cried when I read about you taking them to the curb. Things will settle down and there will come a time when you will feel inspired and refreshed and want to do those things. For now, don't be too hard on yourself nor expect too much. You work hard and many hours--you're only one person. :) You're in my thoughts, my friend.
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